Personal tribute guidance · $39
How to write a eulogy yourself, with a plan built for you
You do not want it written for you. You want to know where to start, what belongs in it and how long it should be. Tell us your situation and a writer sends back a plan built for it.
Delivered within 24 hours · Written for your situation, not a template · Secure and confidential
Who this is for
The writing should be yours. The map does not have to be.
Some people are clear that they want to write the tribute themselves. It matters to them that the words are their own — and they are right that it will mean more that way. What they are missing is not talent. It is a shape to pour it into, and permission to leave things out.
This is the smallest, cheapest thing we do, and for a particular kind of person it is the most useful. You describe the situation — who died, your relationship, what the service is like, what you are stuck on — and a writer sends back a personal plan: a structure to follow, prompts aimed at your gaps, a target length, and honest answers to whatever you are worried about.
What you receive
A plan, not a draft
A structure to follow
Section by section, in an order that works for your particular relationship and occasion — with a note on roughly how many words each part should take.
Prompts aimed at your gaps
Questions written for the specific thing you are stuck on, designed to surface the small rituals and shared habits that rarely come to mind under pressure.
Answers to what worries you
Whether to mention the difficult year, how to handle a complicated relationship, whether humour is acceptable, what to do about the people who are not speaking.
Length and delivery notes
What your slot translates to in words, how fast you will actually read when grieving, and what to do if your voice goes.
How it works
Three steps, and then it is yours
1
Describe the situation
Who died, who you are to them, what kind of service it is, and what is stopping you. Nothing is charged at this point.
2
We build your plan
A writer reads it and puts together a structure, prompts and guidance for your tribute specifically — not a downloadable template.
3
You write it
It arrives within 24 hours. Follow it as closely or as loosely as you like. Every word in the tribute will be yours.
Ready when you are
The smallest step that still helps
Personal Tribute Guidance
A plan written for you
$39
Structure, prompts, target length and honest answers — for people who want to do the writing themselves.
✓ Written for your situation by a person
✓ Prompts aimed at what you are stuck on
✓ Delivered within 24 hours
Request tribute guidanceNothing is charged until we confirm · What you share is never published or reused
If you would rather not write it
Two neighbouring services
Start from a draft instead
A tribute draft is the next step up: we write a complete draft from your memories, and you personalise it rather than starting from the structure.
Write it, then have it checked
Many people take the guidance, write the tribute, and then send it back to be read before the day. That is what tribute feedback is for.
Before you order
Questions about tribute guidance
Is this a phone call?
No. Everything is written and comes to you by email, which most people find easier in the first week — you can read it at two in the morning and go back to it as many times as you need.
How is this different from a tribute draft?
Guidance tells you how to write it; a draft is the writing itself. If you want your own words on the page, start here. If you would rather edit something than build it, start with a tribute draft.
What if I am stuck on something difficult?
Say so plainly in your request — an estrangement, a complicated marriage, a death nobody wants named. Those are the questions this service is best at, and nothing you share goes further.
Will I get a template?
No. A template is the thing that makes tributes sound the same. What you receive is written for your relationship, your occasion and the problem you described.
Can I upgrade later if I cannot do it?
Yes, and some people do. Tell us and we move you to a tribute draft or a fully written tribute, using everything you have already shared.
How long should a eulogy be?
Usually three to ten minutes. Ask the officiant how long you have. At around 130 words a minute, five minutes is roughly 650 words and ten minutes about 1,300.
How do I start a eulogy?
Simply. Say your name and how you knew them, then go straight into a short story or a detail that is unmistakably them. Avoid opening with a dictionary definition or a long quotation.
Is it okay to use humour in a eulogy?
Yes, if it is gentle and true to them. A laugh is often a relief to the room. Keep it affectionate, never at anyone's expense, and follow it with something sincere.
What if I cry while giving the eulogy?
Pause, breathe and carry on. Everyone in the room understands. Keep water nearby, print it in large type, and ask someone to stand close who could finish reading it for you if needed.
How do I write a eulogy for someone I had a difficult relationship with?
Be honest without being unkind. Focus on what was true and good, acknowledge the complexity lightly if you need to, and do not claim a closeness you did not have. This is exactly the kind of situation the guidance addresses in detail.
When do I pay?
Not on this site. You send your request first, we check we can take it on, then email a secure payment link — usually within 20 minutes to 3 hours. No link within 3 hours means our schedule is full, and you are welcome to try again in 48 hours.
Writing a eulogy
How to write a eulogy: the short version
1. Gather before you write
Talk to family and friends and note stories, sayings and habits rather than a list of achievements. Three good stories are worth more than thirty facts.
2. Choose one thread
Pick a theme that ran through their life, such as their kindness, their stubbornness or their garden, and let each story hang from it. A thread is what makes a eulogy feel like a portrait rather than a CV.
3. Open, tell, close
Start by saying who you are and how you knew them. Tell two or three stories. Close with what they leave behind, or with a simple, direct goodbye.
4. Read it aloud, twice
Time yourself. Most people read at roughly 130 words a minute when nervous, so five minutes is about 650 words. Print it in large type and mark where you will pause.
Write it yourself, with a map
Tell us what is stopping you tonight. Start writing tomorrow.